I have asked the question so much, and so have many people in this world! Why wait? I don't see the reason to wait. I am a good strong healthy person, who would dearly love to start a family, and I don't see any prospects of a husband in sight. I have often cried myself to sleep on my queen sized bed, cuddling with my pillows. I wished many times it was my husband there, instead of my pillows, but then I hear a voice inside me say, " I need you to rely on me first, then I will give you the desires of your heart!
Now I am not asking the question, " Why wait?" but "When You are Ready, Lord?" I know that if I quit looking, the groom will come to me, and he will be more then I have asked for, in a husband. A godly man, seeking the face of God, who has a deep heart to raise children up to be the next generation of Christfollowers, and that would be his ultimate goal in that end, as well as my being a helpmeet to him, in all of his endeavours! Wow, that sounds like a lot, but for someone like me, who has been enlightened, I would consider it an honor and a privelege to do so, raise children for God's Glory, and support my husband at home!
I have two sisters who have started the race of marriage before me. I have so longed to be on their level and relate to them, and their problems. But married sisters have a hard time sharing with unmarried sisters, because the unmarried do not know what the others are going through.
One of my sisters had a baby recently, and I was a tiny bit jealous! I wished it was mine. But the Lord, said, " You could have a part in the influence of Gabriel, for he will need his aunty to show him the ways of the Lord, and confirm the words of his parents!" So, in a sense, I will be a surrogate mother to Gabriel!"After all, his name means, God is my strength, and Gift of God!" So I know that he will be a big man of God someday!:)
I am going to be 26 in February, and I know that there are a lot of single christians out there, that are near my age, and I also know of those, who have married later in life! So, there is still hope for me! I know that, I would still have 20 more years of childbearing, before I could give up hope of bearing my own!
And if I never marry, Hallelujah! I could spend my time with my nephews and neices, helping my sisters and brothers-in-law, raise the children! And I may be a missionary to children, through the stories I write, and the photos I take!
So my prayer is not, " Send my husband soon, Lord!" But, " Trust in the Lord with ALL YOUR HEART, and LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING! IN ALL YOUR WAYS, acknowlege him, and He will direct your PATHS!For you know the Plans you have for me, thoughts of Peace and not of evil, to give me a rewarding end! I place my life in the hands of the Lord, and He can use me any way He so desires! Amen!He knows what I need, and when I need it!
Enough of my ramblings!
I hope you have a good and rewarding day, and that the Lord would bless you exceedingly!
Perennial Pioneer
7 comments:
Laura,
I just stopped by my blog and i saw your comment on there. Thank you for your prayers.
I liked this post; you have the right attitude here; we just recently found out our Pastor is getting married in December. He was single for several years and he is 42 years old.I know his fiancee was in the same position and she is also 42 years old.They both waited on the Lord and he brought them together.
I must go for now. I will stop by again some time soon.God Bless you.
I can understand your why wait? question.From reading other people's courtship stories I see that the Lord can bring people together when the time is right.
The other thing I noticed is that the who and how can be different than what we would expect.
Oh, Laura... I wish you a lot of peace, strength and patience while you wait for God's perfect timing, and I can tell you I'm in much need of those as well! Well, you do know I'm engaged now and I'm facing a long period of waiting until we can get married. So sometimes I bite my pillow at night, whispering: why, God? Why not sooner? And what if something happens along the way? What if I don't get married eventually? What if? What if..?
The truth is that we never know what to expect, and even if we have plans, He may alter them. We can do our best, and He listens to our prayers and sees our good works, but it is His plan that matters in the end, not ours.
What a beautiful and honest post Laura. I want to encourage you to keep listening to the Lord's voice instead of the world's. I did not do this in my 20s and there was not a lot of information out there on courtship etc like there is now and no internet! However, when I finally gave everything over to Him...He brought the perfect person for me, into my life. I was 32.5 when I married and my husband almost 35. And in spite of health concerns that I would not be able to have children, He blessed us with a son, now almost 6 and twin daughters, 4. I know in some ways it is hard to see everyone else's dreams come true before your eyes while you wait. However, the wait for the right one that He chooses is always worth it! BTW, I grew up in Everett/Mukilteo and lived in Bellingham for more than ten years. I know Clallam Co fairly well as I always vacationed every summer in various places in the Olympic National Park...still my most favorite place in the world! :o) We are in northern CA now and I wish we could come home, but that has not been in the Father's plans so far. I enjoyed your blog and will come back and visit again sometime. God bless you with His peace as you wait!
Sorry, the last post from "one of the workers" was done when I didn't realize I was logged in to view our church missionaries in the middle east. It didnt' come from them, but from me. Theresa
Great post, Laura! Although I'm yet young, I still face thoughts and questions like these.
It's so encouraging to see other Christian girls that are waiting. My sister Miriam, who is 27, did a great post on this topic called The Grass is Always Greener:
http://notherown.blogspot.com/2007/07/grass-is-always-greener.html
Laura,
A very moving post... I have to say.
I understand the trials that you face; they are my own. Not my own thoughts- both quite relevant to this situation.
"Fiat mihi secundum verbum tuum." (Be it done to me according to Thy Word.)
"Fiat voluntas tua sicut in caelo et in terra." (Thy will be done, on earth as it his in heaven.)
"You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in thee." St. Augustine
"No love is good unless it is subordinated to a higher love: the love of God." Fr. Fermoyle in the Cardinal.
I myself have struggled with this. I do not have romantic visions of an idealized future wife. However, I think it imperative that I marry a virtuous woman with a strong faith.
The thought that from the moment of creation, God knew who is I would marry is also a reassurance.
So we must trust in God's providence, wait and pray, and offer our time and talent to God. Or as a priest-friend put it, 85% of life is to do your work and say your prayers.
Rest assured that I will remember you in prayers this evening and at the Mass tomorrow.
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